As far as I'm concerned, I only have one REAL tattoo, which is the 2-inch gecko beside my belly button that I got when I was 14. The one on my arm is fake though. I wanna get another tattoo but I can't be bothered with the pain. Maybe in the future I'll have the letters L-A-N-V-I-N tattooed on my ass so Alber Elbaz will take notice and we'll become boyfriends. Can you imagine? Bryanboy and Alber? It's the ultimate gay powercouple! I'll make him lose weight, give him a makeover and turn him into a full-fledged fairy. Just like me! He'll ditch those nerdy eyeglasses and I'll force him to wear those magnificent off-shoulder ruffle dresses and cone heels. Then we'll go mincing down rue du Faubourg St Honoré with our miniature dogs named Tulip and Frieda to the tune of "do you know what it feels like for a gurl" in our ipods . All the chic ladies will worship the ground we're standing on.
